How Lucky Am I?


It’s late. As I lay here in bed, soft sounds buzz from the lowered volume of the television and I am surrounded by the warm snuggles of my girls; gratitude envelopes me. The calmness of their breath captivates this treasured moment of quiet slumber.

It’s these moments, in which I study the freckles around their noses and the tiny curls that peek from the corners of their temples. When did they get so big? Yesterday they were wrapped and swaddled cozey in my arms, today they stretch half my body length. Sigh. Time, please slow down.

It’s oftentimes easy to get swept up in the busy tasks of the day-to-day, but one thing I have learned since Olivia’s arrival into this world, is nothing in this life is ever guaranteed.

I soak up this time and cherish every second. The same goes for nights, in which pain comes hard, and fast for her; intuitively I rock her in my arms through another storm. In those moments I beg God, the Universe, whatever; to put her pain onto me, so that her little body is spared. These moments crush me!

When you have a medically fragile child, every single day is a gift.

Tonight, as we lay snuggled in close; I soak up the warm, sweaty curls that stick to their cheeks. I listen closely to the softness of their breaths. I imagine the wonderous dreams that fill their innocent thoughts. How lucky am I, to be their Momma?